Thursday, February 10, 2011

OH YO HOO and a bottle of DESPRADOS!

http://www.desperadosbeer.co.uk/index.asp

THE BEER OF THE 7 SEAS!!

Tequila, Beer, mixed, Beautiful.

I've been wonder'n the broken glass cobbled streets of this prison port.
There are many things in which I find me'self grasping in awe at, the views on a calm day are beyond that of the heavens, the people, much like me'self walk with no expression for this is the port where souls become trapped and lost.

Thar be little joy for the man seeking thrill and adventure here all this place has to offer is a pretty picture, and eve'n that reveals its true flag in winter, it be a flag of black.

I'd like to take ya back to a time when this place was not the dusty, worn port of torture.
Back to a time when a man could revel in thoughts of adventure, plundering and walk with a face of determination and grit.

Cast my anchor back 15 years back, into a much blue'r sea.

Twas my younger days, when I once led a small faction of rebels in the town.
We used to invade rivals land, and make our own bases of operations while my mateys be crafting more weapons and devices to help lead us to adventure.
Back in those days the town was full of men of the sea, each pub echoing tales from there expliots, I as a kid would listen in intent and dream of one day having an adventure, a crew and a dream.

I had the crew, but there is only so much a group of 10-12 year old kids can really achieve, regardless once we took over the town, built as much as we could, we set our sights higher, and decided it was time to take over one of our first big adventures.

The Pine woods!
Its a forest/woodland that runs parallel to tha'r sandy wastes of the beach.
Its a daunting task, and not many kids commanders would let um venture there, this meant it would be a small force, so me and my best 5 mates headed to the woodlands, I was lucky, my farther, also a man of the sea, had often ventured through theses woods to check his net catch that spread on the shorelines surface.

Anyway me and my men got hopelessly lost, and stumbled across a few other bases, within a month that woodland belonged to us.

After that, the sea was our next challenge, there is a island about a mile from the quay, Me and my best mate created our first boat, to sail this and claim that land, the boat sunk, we swam to shore, and then realised that it was beyond our reach as we were...

Those were tha days!

Now its just a soulless place, a prison in the cold ocean keeping people from reaching their potential and sucking the very life from all that live here, and feeding that life into the areas summer beauty.

I plan to someday leave this port... leave it all behind for the smell that's finally returned to me, the smell of adventure!!

RAISE A GLASS!!

Friday, November 06, 2009

Oh NO!!!

Pogonophobia.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Battle of the great beard.

I decided to shave the beard and keep it at once, ye might not be barking to assume what I speak of is tha styling of a cap'n's beard.

It be styled to the way pleasing to the ladys eye, but enough man left in it to scare the unworthy witless, it is a kings beard, a king of the sea.

No adventures to report today, I left the port only to sail to my farther and mothers house (I was desprate for some rape and pillage) and now I aquired a bottle of orange juice (prevents scurvy) and a bad memory!

Sail onwards ya scurvy sea sausages...

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Greetings, Fellow Adventurer.

This here, be Me keepings and recordings of me present adventires, so that when I leave this mortal plane to sail ships in that there sky, I have these words of wisdom for my youngsters so that they can be a true Captain of adventure too.

Todays topic, Beards:

After arriving back in good 'ol england, I happend to discover that I had, like black beard before me, grown somewhat a fearsome beard. A beard capible of scaring children and also strong enought to make any likley wench drop her thrid set of underwear down for me.

Its a practical decision, keep thar beard, and be reveared by all, or send the clump of evil fur down to davy jones locker?

Maybe I shall make this decision in thar morning wind, when my mind is clear.

I'm Settng Sail for the land of dreams, no not sleep, porn and wenches!